As I ponder about my life experiences, I have come to understand over time where my priorities lie. A few years ago, I experienced trauma over a divorce that was looming. It felt surreal to me that I was in that position. I was born and raised a Catholic, went to Catholic school all my life and blessed by my parents by sharing the faith and receiving the Sacraments in the Catholic Church. Now, experiencing that divorce made me think what happened along the way? Did I wander off in the desert and succumbed to the temptations of the devil due to my lack of spiritual enrichment? In one way or another, we all have our temptations whether it be big or small especially nowadays surrounded by a secular society that is providing us with a lot of false narrative and sways our judgement and opinions and if we are not that strong, our faith unfortunately can waver.
Fast forward, I met my husband who provided me with a stronghold and foundation of the start of seeking a deeper relationship with our Lord. The first time that I went to the chapel for adoration I had an encounter that was very special to me. I just had a spark of love almost like that yearning that I was missing or a heart that was aching and found it’s way back home in adoration with the Blessed Sacrament provided by the grace of God. It was quite the experience and I never looked back.
In the mornings, I read my short prayers daily as well as reading scriptures of the day and trying to reflect before my work starts.
Some weekends, I meet with a spiritual director Sr Patricia, who is guiding and encouraging me to take small steps and affirms the importance of prayer and sharing the faith with others in the community. I am grateful and thankful for these opportunities and sense a change in myself. Every day I look forward to being in the presence of God and understanding his Word as best as I can. Quoting from Mark 4:4-5 “Some seed fell on the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up quickly, since it had no depth of soil.” I pray that this growing seed that I am trying to nurture will be fruitful and not fall on rocky ground. I get discouraged and that is human nature but as what one of our parish priests Fr. Drennen once said in his homily, “we know that we are weak in nature and that we should not try to be discouraged but share in the hope that God is more powerful than us and he can redeem us when we turn to him.”
During adoration Fridays sometimes I arrive to my parish chapel and I feel that I don’t have the right words to say which I then ask the Holy Spirit to come breathe in me to provide some clarity in my thoughts. I have learned along the way that there is no wrong or right way to pray, you just need to sit in silence with the Lord and talk to him about your day and to never forget to offer it up. It is in these moments that God speaks in volumes if you just listen quietly and patiently.
May our Lord Jesus Christ and Savior always provide you and me with the grace of strength, wisdom and truth to ever praise and adore him at all times. I pray that whoever is reading this can find in their heart to seek the Lord and that we may all find that peace we are all looking for ultimately.
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